


How Does It Feel To Be Adored By Him?

by emmablackery



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Song fic, drinking mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3866620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmablackery/pseuds/emmablackery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I won't hate you, but oh it stings, how does it feel to be adored by him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Does It Feel To Be Adored By Him?

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i love dodie clark a lot  
> @god thank u for dodie clark
> 
> but yeah, i love her song adored by him and i haven't written angst in a while so here this is.
> 
> follow me on tumblr! purplehairhowell.tumblr.com
> 
> always accepting prompts!
> 
> title from adored by him by dodie clark

_Pretty girl with the butterscotch hair_

_Your eyes and the sunshine smile you wear_

_I can see how you make his soul glow_

 

Dan knew he could never live up to her. Her long hair, butterscotch in color flowing down her back. Blue eyes shining when she smiles. Her smile could light up the room and he guess that’s why Phil chose her over him.

Her personality made Phil attracted to her, at first. She made him laugh, she made him smile. Things found he could never truly do. Dan being a sad person all around, he understood he got tiring to be around, but Phil always swore they’d go together no matter.

But here Phil was, talking about how he was going out with her. When all Dan wanted to do was drag Phil back in the apartment and kiss him with all the force he had, showing him all the emotion he had to offer.

Dan wasn’t an idiot, he’s seen Phil at his best. His eyes a constant shade of bright blue when he talks about her. Constantly smiling, telling jokes, in an all round good mood.

Dan feels like he’s losing his best friend.

_Pretty girl with the adventurous mind_

_you envision so much you make me look blind_

_You spark his life in ways I'll never know_

When Dan met her, he knew there was something about her he wanted to hate, but he couldn’t. She was always talking about how she wanted to do this, or to do that. Every crazy adventure that came to her mind, she always wanted Phil to join her, to let him experience life with him by her side.

Every adventure she proposed to Phil, he’d always agree to it. Dan could see the way he looked at her, he’d be willing to do anything for him It was the same look Dan gave Phil when he wasn’t looking.

She made a light shine in Phil, a light so bright. A light Dan knew he could never spark. He would never be able to be the one who makes Phil shine brighter everyday. She’ll always be the one to see the love-filled smiles, the heart in his eyes. The sweet, loving words whispered in the dead of night while his face was buried in her neck.

God, Dan wanted to be that person.

_Pretty girl there's no need to fret_

_Cause it's midnight, he's drunk and you're the one in his head_

_You don't even have to try at all._

One night, Dan and Phil decided to get drunk together, to unwind.

Bottles of beer, scattered around the living room, with a drunk Phil sitting opposite on the couch. Dan barely on the edge of tipsy. Phil was looking at him, dopey smile on his face, eyes blown wide.

“Hey, Dan?” Phil slurred, “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Phil,” Dan smiled back.

“I think I love her.” Phil smiled, looking at his best friend for reassurance.

Dan’s smiled faded and his stomach dropped. Phil’s smile stinging like a knife. He got up from the couch and went towards his room, slamming the door. He slide down the door, arms curling around his body.

_He loves her._

He’s repeating those three words over and over, tears rolling down his cheeks. Dan always knew he could never compare to her, but this- this hurt like hell.

Phil’s in love with her.

The next morning when she came over as she always did, she pulled Dan out of the room.

“Hey, Dan? Can I ask you something?” she asks, her eyes shining.

“Yeah, sure,” he says, smile forced.

“I’m- I’m not sure how to say this, but I feel like-” she hesitates, “Phil’s not very interested in me anymore.”

Dan wanted to scoff, tell her that she doesn’t make him happy, that she doesn’t make Phil’s soul glow. But he doesn’t. As much as he wanted Phil, he knew she made him happy.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, love,” Dan says. “He absolutely crazy about you. I can never get him to shut up actually.” Dan smiles, but it hurts. He hopes it’s not looking too forced.

She smiles, that damn bright smile.

“Really?” she smiles, “I’m crazy about him too, he’s lovely.”

“He is, isn’t he?” he agrees.

“Thank you, Dan.” she says, pulling him in for a quick hug before going back into the living room to cuddle into Phil.

Dan stand there, heart falling into the pit of his stomach.

He wants this to not be real. He wants Phil to be in love with him, not _her_.

_Pretty girl oh he looks at you_

_as if life is perfect cause the world is new_

_In those moments I just feel so small._

Dan hates the days when Phil suggests that the three of them watch a movie together. Knowing full and well that Phil won’t be paying attention to him or the movie.

Halfway through the movie, Dan looks over at the couple, and she’s got her eyes glued to the screen, but Phil has his eyes glued to her.

The way they’re lighting up, he could practically see the hearts in eyes, the love he has for her. Dan sighed and tried to focus on the movie again, but he couldn’t. Not when he had this pang in his heart. He knew he wasn’t needed here.

He got up, silently from his seat. He made his way towards the door, just before he could get out, Phil noticed he had left.

“Dan?” Phil asked, making her lift her head up to look at Dan as well. “Where’re you going?”

“Oh, I remembered I’ve got a video to edit,” he lies. “Sorry guys, tell me how the movie ends though.”

And he’s gone. Walking to his room, and closing the door and he tries not to focus on the look of love that Phil had while looking at her. Tried to focus on the way he just longs to have Phil look at him like that. He tries, but he just can’t get over these feelings. He wants Phil to want him.

_How stupid to think_

_that I could compare_

_to the pretty girl_

_with the butterscotch hair_

Dan knew he’d never be able to compare to her, she was perfect. Perfect for Phil, anyways. Her butterscotch hair, flowing down her back.

But he never expected this to hurt so _much_. This hurts him right down to the core. He wants Phil to love him. Wants Phil to love him like he loves her. In a way, Dan wants to wish ill on her, but he can’t. She was lovely. Never would intentionally hurt a soul, and that’s why Phil loves her.

Phil loves her.

Phil loves her and not Dan.

And that’s just something Dan has to learn.

_I won't hate you_

_but oh it stings_

_how does it feel_

_to be adored by him?_


End file.
